ǝʌıʇɔǝdsɹǝd ɹnoʎ ǝƃuɐɥɔ ✡
Far away
This ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die
Starlight
I will be chasing a starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore
My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive
I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
about

Lives for: the good times, and even the bad times. Life has its up and downs but chatting it up or down, youtubing, talking on the phone 24/7, EATING, tiVOing, or just hanging in can blow all of my worries away, most of the time anyways.
loves: LATE NIGHT FREEE PHONE CALLS with the usual: therapy for the bad days and laughing all night long for the good days
THE THINGS I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT: my bffod! MICHIGAN! south coast plaza, GTALK, AIM, Tivo, pasta at pastadena, hobos--any kind, inside jokes all the time, late night talks, early morning naps in class, song lyrics, not paying attention, BLAZERS, winding roads, picturesque scenes, fresh and easy, corner bakery cafe!, coffee brea, starbucks, ted baker, anthropologie, j. crew, madewell, CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE, CHOCOALTE COVERED ALMONDS, pink paper, green paper, magnolia blossom shower gel, hand crafted cards, homemade chocolate chip cookies!, the o.c., ORANGE COUNTY OVER LA COUNTY!, CANADA! big text messaging!
7.24.2007, 2:27 PM

Guilt, regret, shame. More regret. That's all I can think about.
I've done some pretty stupid things, heck because I am a stupid person. But I've never felt worse. Itstarted off as a big joke and it ended with the biggest burden, the biggest regret ever. Everytime people tell me "Michelle, it's not your fault. Things just happen." That's a comforting thought. end sarcasm
My best friend won't live to see the day he graduates bc of me. He won't be able to see the world, to go to the places he wanted to go, to contribute and do something for the world. And the evidence points to me. Oh why. I don't think I feel sad bc I'll have to live with this for the rest of my life. Rather it's because my best friend, whom I love like a brother, the person I've known for eleven years, will never do what he's always wanted to do, to experience what life gives to all of us. I'm so sorry. I know that's not going to help anything. It won't revive him of anything. It doesn't revive anyone. I remmeber when we were little, apologizing was a big deal, it taught common courtesy. Not so easy anymore.
Scott, wherever you are right now, please know that no one will ever forget the joy you've brought into our lives. Maybe one day we'll all be together again.
I've thought all night about not going on any further. I've always been taught though that just because someone you love isn't there anymore, doesn't mean that you have no reason to live for. I got that advice from well the last person who ever spoke to me.